Basil looked up from the novel he was reading when he saw Charles run into the room,panting and sweating. he wondered why in this 21st century, a youth can't knock before entering, so he yelled "FAGGOT, Can't you knock before entering"?,then Charles replied "I'm sorry man". Basil nodded and got back to his novel. meanwhile Charles was observing the entire room but couldn't find what he was looking for, so he asked "Basil, can i have some Vaseline?", Basil, already aware of what was going on and what he intended to do with it replied "on the shelf". Charles was done for the day. ODD WORLD. *SIGHS*
I still can't explain my grouse with "the cat". that dude pisses the hell outta me.
i imagine him as a houseboy. picture this: this is an incident between FELIX and his boss BRIAN.
BRIAN, just returning from work was tired, hungry and exhausted.he screams "Felllliiixxxx", with his eyes closed. ............... NO RESPONSE!!!!!!!!!
then he opens his eyes to see the boy standing in front of him, and pondered on what method exactly to use to address him.
After a moment of deliberation, He yelled at fELIX, screaming “You Bomboclat!, Haven’t I told you never to enter my room without knocking? What is the problem with you URHOBO people and orders? Can’t you just obey simple orders? What if I was with Nike? Ehn?”
Felix just stared helplessly as his boss rained insult after insult on him. He knew the punishment for responding to these insults: He would sleep naked outside the mansion for a night. The first and only time he had endured this punishment was enough warning to him that he didn’t want to do it again… The mosquito-bites on his golf ball-sized scrotum still itched painfully.
He waited until his boss had calmed down, and said in his calmest possible voice, “Oga… The Garri in the new tank is gone! All of it!”
Brian looked shocked. "WHAT!???", then he sank to the sofa beside him. lots of thoughts ran through his mind, like
"what am i going to eat now"?, "the children?". what he feared most was his nagging wife MARYJANE, whom he stole from his brother.
Brian looked round and saw a note on the dining-table. it read thus "DEAR BRO, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET AT YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME. I'VE EMPTIED YOUR GARRI TANK TO SPOIL YOUR BUSINESS AND ALSO STARVE YOU AND THAT "ho" MARYJANE....hehehehhe, yours deadly- MITCH.
Brian was filled with rage.. "how could mitch do this to me"?, he paced around the house and yelled at felix, "get me my hunting gun".............. felix hurriedly got the rifle.....
WATCH OUT FOR BRIAN'S REVENGE IN THE NEXT BLOG POST............
Monday 27 August 2012
Monday 6 February 2012
NOT AGAIN!!!
RING RING!!!
Hi dave, it's shade, couldn't get to you but i hit ur voicemail, i'll be at ur house by 7pm. Take care.
When i heard these words from my phone, the hair at the back of my hair stood up. I said to myself "oh my word!. Shade is coming today."
shade is a girl of 18yrs, very pretty and sexy too. Not that i lust after her but she's HOT. We got to know each other during our sophomore year in college and we didn't lose contact.
I got into action. I arranged my room and got some drinks ready then i slept off. I was jolted to my feet when i heard a soft knock at the door.
"hello dear". She said with a wide smile, i couldn't help but stare. She was in a pink dress, with her hair falling down to her back and a moderately fixed make-up. I managed to mutter "hi, pls come in". Then she entered and sat on the sofa.
We immediately got talking after i had served her the drinks. She told me how life's been good to her and how she's doing well in her studies. I didn't talk but listen and of course stare.
She seemed to know what was running through my mind so she came closer and took my hand, then i moved closer too,
Before long, i took her by the chin and started to kiss her gently on the lips, she responded and we started to kiss passionately. Then i wanted to go further then she said "david", i responded "yeah"?, she said "they're watching".
Then i remembered that i wasn't alone, that you faggets were truly watching. Oh what a total screw up. You guys just spoilt my fun. Now what're you guys still doing here?.
Hi dave, it's shade, couldn't get to you but i hit ur voicemail, i'll be at ur house by 7pm. Take care.
When i heard these words from my phone, the hair at the back of my hair stood up. I said to myself "oh my word!. Shade is coming today."
shade is a girl of 18yrs, very pretty and sexy too. Not that i lust after her but she's HOT. We got to know each other during our sophomore year in college and we didn't lose contact.
I got into action. I arranged my room and got some drinks ready then i slept off. I was jolted to my feet when i heard a soft knock at the door.
"hello dear". She said with a wide smile, i couldn't help but stare. She was in a pink dress, with her hair falling down to her back and a moderately fixed make-up. I managed to mutter "hi, pls come in". Then she entered and sat on the sofa.
We immediately got talking after i had served her the drinks. She told me how life's been good to her and how she's doing well in her studies. I didn't talk but listen and of course stare.
She seemed to know what was running through my mind so she came closer and took my hand, then i moved closer too,
Before long, i took her by the chin and started to kiss her gently on the lips, she responded and we started to kiss passionately. Then i wanted to go further then she said "david", i responded "yeah"?, she said "they're watching".
Then i remembered that i wasn't alone, that you faggets were truly watching. Oh what a total screw up. You guys just spoilt my fun. Now what're you guys still doing here?.
Tuesday 31 January 2012
Without wasting much time, i'll get into the concluding part of my previous shii, aite?
8. Chelsea: this would be no other than eldee tha don. That guy is a don in err'thyn he does. As abrahamovic is a don in chelsea, eldee is a don in the rap game.
9. Qpr: this is a soccer team that likes challenges and also are stubborn. I would liken them to no other than BEAZY. That dude loves challenges. You can see that from his previous collabos. He's good too.
10. Wigan: if not that it's wrong to question God, i would have asked him what wigan is doin in the epl. I would also ask why D'prince is also in the rap game. There's nothing ATHLETIC about wigan and there's nothing "princy" about D'prince also.
11. Swansea city: a welsh team in the english league doing very well, so is femcee BLAISE. I must give her kudos for striving among the male emcees and proving her worth. Thumbs up blaise.
12. Sunderland fc : this team is obviously a friend of manchester united. From their transfer transactions, you can tell. O'shea, brown, welbeck. Note, TERRY THA RAPMAN takes this position and he's mode9's friend.
13. West bromich albion: "OLAMIDE is here". The dude proves he needs not to copy anyone to make it. I feel you bro
14. Wolves: with strong determination to remain in the league but laxity to win it, i'll say JESSE JAGS fits into this. He's shown he can "BEAT" anybody in the rap league.
15. Everton fc : this fits no one but SAUCE KID. He's so comfortable where he is, he even asked y'all, "what is sinzu"?
16. Bolton fc: NIGGA RAW. Yes nigga raw'll be bolton. He's strugglin wit his sloppy lyrics and is only recognized by a few. Yeah, the igbo folks. Shii. ¤smh¤
17. Stoke city: with their hard tackles, "gra-gra" game, IKECHUKWU fits this club. The dude would beat up any mo'fucker that tries him. ¤knuckles up¤
18. Aston villa: SKALES. There's everythin young about this team. They even had two youngs (ashley young and luke young). Skales is also young. Aint he?
Last but not the least FULHAM: There's nothing to write to you about this shity club, so is SASHA.
I rest my case here. Comments pls. Danke.
8. Chelsea: this would be no other than eldee tha don. That guy is a don in err'thyn he does. As abrahamovic is a don in chelsea, eldee is a don in the rap game.
9. Qpr: this is a soccer team that likes challenges and also are stubborn. I would liken them to no other than BEAZY. That dude loves challenges. You can see that from his previous collabos. He's good too.
10. Wigan: if not that it's wrong to question God, i would have asked him what wigan is doin in the epl. I would also ask why D'prince is also in the rap game. There's nothing ATHLETIC about wigan and there's nothing "princy" about D'prince also.
11. Swansea city: a welsh team in the english league doing very well, so is femcee BLAISE. I must give her kudos for striving among the male emcees and proving her worth. Thumbs up blaise.
12. Sunderland fc : this team is obviously a friend of manchester united. From their transfer transactions, you can tell. O'shea, brown, welbeck. Note, TERRY THA RAPMAN takes this position and he's mode9's friend.
13. West bromich albion: "OLAMIDE is here". The dude proves he needs not to copy anyone to make it. I feel you bro
14. Wolves: with strong determination to remain in the league but laxity to win it, i'll say JESSE JAGS fits into this. He's shown he can "BEAT" anybody in the rap league.
15. Everton fc : this fits no one but SAUCE KID. He's so comfortable where he is, he even asked y'all, "what is sinzu"?
16. Bolton fc: NIGGA RAW. Yes nigga raw'll be bolton. He's strugglin wit his sloppy lyrics and is only recognized by a few. Yeah, the igbo folks. Shii. ¤smh¤
17. Stoke city: with their hard tackles, "gra-gra" game, IKECHUKWU fits this club. The dude would beat up any mo'fucker that tries him. ¤knuckles up¤
18. Aston villa: SKALES. There's everythin young about this team. They even had two youngs (ashley young and luke young). Skales is also young. Aint he?
Last but not the least FULHAM: There's nothing to write to you about this shity club, so is SASHA.
I rest my case here. Comments pls. Danke.
Hey, wadido niggas, i kno y'all would pop up on this blog for some real nice shii, damn, i've come to emphasize on a fuckin' issue some mo'fuckers don't know bout, so you concentrate on this shii, aite?
Forgive my rude and explicit beginning. It happens sometimes.
Todays post is basically on something i saw today on someone's blog.
In nigeria, some emcees could fit some premiership clubs so i'll take em in details.
1. Manchester united: in nigeria, mode9 would be man u, cuz of his consistency in the rap game, he's definately one of the best around.
2. Liverpool fc : hehehehe, ruggedman would take that position. The nigga was on his grind before the "New" guys took him by surprise. ¤sigh¤, he just luvs to give pain(payne) to nice(9ce) people.
3. Manchester city: no other than M.I is fit for this position. The guy is crazy and shows lots of skills and determination., he matches man city's beautiful attacking play with his deliveries and punchlines. Bruv, i doff my hat(hart).
4. Norwich city: the 10/10 crooner has this position., he matches norwich's style of soccer, cool and wit lots of respect. He also doesn't really brag about what he doesn't have but hit at the nigga and he'll insult your dad.
5. Newcastle united: with strong resilience and determination, i agree that vector the viper fits into newcastle's attitude. The dude has shown he isn't a push over and he has been fighting all along. When they see d dude in his area, dem baba go bow. Did you see that??
6. Blackburn rovers: ill bliss, this is ur own. Mehn, this guy is so wack. So wack i tell you, i really don't know what blackburn is doing is the epl sef. This nigga should open a shop in alaba market and stop disturbing us.
7. Arsenal fc : with beautiful field play, nice attacking game the err'one wants to watch, that's arsenal for you and ICE PRINCE fits that. Just as arsenal sold out their best players, ice prince also gives out his best lyrics when featured on other tracks, then gives a little effort on his own track. Bro, if you wan make ur album sell, ehn, keep your best lyrics for ur album, so hunger no go kill you.
8. Tottenham hotspurs: to me o, YUNG6IX has this position, tottenham plays a never-say-never style of soccer and they show they really want to make it big, so does mr. Yung6ix.
I don tire, i'll continue later. Safe
Forgive my rude and explicit beginning. It happens sometimes.
Todays post is basically on something i saw today on someone's blog.
In nigeria, some emcees could fit some premiership clubs so i'll take em in details.
1. Manchester united: in nigeria, mode9 would be man u, cuz of his consistency in the rap game, he's definately one of the best around.
2. Liverpool fc : hehehehe, ruggedman would take that position. The nigga was on his grind before the "New" guys took him by surprise. ¤sigh¤, he just luvs to give pain(payne) to nice(9ce) people.
3. Manchester city: no other than M.I is fit for this position. The guy is crazy and shows lots of skills and determination., he matches man city's beautiful attacking play with his deliveries and punchlines. Bruv, i doff my hat(hart).
4. Norwich city: the 10/10 crooner has this position., he matches norwich's style of soccer, cool and wit lots of respect. He also doesn't really brag about what he doesn't have but hit at the nigga and he'll insult your dad.
5. Newcastle united: with strong resilience and determination, i agree that vector the viper fits into newcastle's attitude. The dude has shown he isn't a push over and he has been fighting all along. When they see d dude in his area, dem baba go bow. Did you see that??
6. Blackburn rovers: ill bliss, this is ur own. Mehn, this guy is so wack. So wack i tell you, i really don't know what blackburn is doing is the epl sef. This nigga should open a shop in alaba market and stop disturbing us.
7. Arsenal fc : with beautiful field play, nice attacking game the err'one wants to watch, that's arsenal for you and ICE PRINCE fits that. Just as arsenal sold out their best players, ice prince also gives out his best lyrics when featured on other tracks, then gives a little effort on his own track. Bro, if you wan make ur album sell, ehn, keep your best lyrics for ur album, so hunger no go kill you.
8. Tottenham hotspurs: to me o, YUNG6IX has this position, tottenham plays a never-say-never style of soccer and they show they really want to make it big, so does mr. Yung6ix.
I don tire, i'll continue later. Safe
Monday 30 January 2012
PING!!!
"Hello baby.
I'll be going to school this weekend for an urgent assignment. I just got the news this morning. I'll be back latest tuesday.
I want you to be a good boy while i'm away.
I love you baby *kiss*".
Lola and i have been dating for almost two years now, and despite our academic engagements, we still spend the weekends with together frequently. However it looks like this weekend she'll be away but it's okay since she informed me about it in advance.
I have to say here that we enjoy a great relationship, really. We rarely have conflicts, we're accepted by each other's parents and we stay in touch very well. We support each other, even when i'm broke she still keeps in touch and we love each other very much. We look forward to getting married in the nearest future.
Yet i must admit we don't have the perfect relationship. This is what i mean, for instance, i'm the type who loves text messages but she prefers to call all the time, and i love to scatter a few things but she loves things spick and span. Those are our differences.
Another thing is video games. I love them to a fault but she abhors it. She'll say "funmilayo, you're not a 13yr old kid so stop playing that nonsense and help me out in the kitchen". Can you imagine?....
But that's another issue we differ about. I'm a staunch manchester united fan- but my girlfriend doesn't understand why men should kick ball or watch others doing it. She rather prefers shopping or chattin but when she's asked the club she supports she screams "manchester united"- she even owns a customized jersey.
Moreover lola can be very finicky when it comes to food. I beg her to eat most of the time, she doesn't eat a particular type of fish, she detests spaghetti, she likes garri, she doesn't like cold food... In fact i don't understand her,
i thank God she's such a lively person, else it'll be boring for the two of us, conversely, i'm kinda introverted who'd rather listen than talk, but i love it when she's talking or gistin me bout something. I give her absolute attention and show her i'm interested. I have this funny british accent and it amuses her when i talk that way. I must confess i enjoy her company.
To lola, sex is a thing that's worth waiting for and i totally agree with her, not just cuz of any religious obligation, but cuz i feel it's better when we're married and not before. She kinda scared of sex too and that makes it perfect.
Perhaps i should reveal that my lady's lifestyle kind of inspires me, i worry about meeting targets and achieving goals but she's reserved and doesn't worry at all. Yet it doesn't look i'm better than she is. Currently she's kinda on a programme like IT and she seems to be content and focused with her career pursuit . There was this day i told her about my senatorial ambitions in the next 15yrs, then i asked her where she sees herself in the next 15yrs and she said "married to you, training our kids and supporting you". I was moved ; i could have given her a million pounds.
Despite our differences, we still get along well, and i think it's cuz we manage those issues well with patience, respect and understanding.
Now, i'm goin to stop here. The article is about us after all.
NB: *this is a fiction*
"Hello baby.
I'll be going to school this weekend for an urgent assignment. I just got the news this morning. I'll be back latest tuesday.
I want you to be a good boy while i'm away.
I love you baby *kiss*".
Lola and i have been dating for almost two years now, and despite our academic engagements, we still spend the weekends with together frequently. However it looks like this weekend she'll be away but it's okay since she informed me about it in advance.
I have to say here that we enjoy a great relationship, really. We rarely have conflicts, we're accepted by each other's parents and we stay in touch very well. We support each other, even when i'm broke she still keeps in touch and we love each other very much. We look forward to getting married in the nearest future.
Yet i must admit we don't have the perfect relationship. This is what i mean, for instance, i'm the type who loves text messages but she prefers to call all the time, and i love to scatter a few things but she loves things spick and span. Those are our differences.
Another thing is video games. I love them to a fault but she abhors it. She'll say "funmilayo, you're not a 13yr old kid so stop playing that nonsense and help me out in the kitchen". Can you imagine?....
But that's another issue we differ about. I'm a staunch manchester united fan- but my girlfriend doesn't understand why men should kick ball or watch others doing it. She rather prefers shopping or chattin but when she's asked the club she supports she screams "manchester united"- she even owns a customized jersey.
Moreover lola can be very finicky when it comes to food. I beg her to eat most of the time, she doesn't eat a particular type of fish, she detests spaghetti, she likes garri, she doesn't like cold food... In fact i don't understand her,
i thank God she's such a lively person, else it'll be boring for the two of us, conversely, i'm kinda introverted who'd rather listen than talk, but i love it when she's talking or gistin me bout something. I give her absolute attention and show her i'm interested. I have this funny british accent and it amuses her when i talk that way. I must confess i enjoy her company.
To lola, sex is a thing that's worth waiting for and i totally agree with her, not just cuz of any religious obligation, but cuz i feel it's better when we're married and not before. She kinda scared of sex too and that makes it perfect.
Perhaps i should reveal that my lady's lifestyle kind of inspires me, i worry about meeting targets and achieving goals but she's reserved and doesn't worry at all. Yet it doesn't look i'm better than she is. Currently she's kinda on a programme like IT and she seems to be content and focused with her career pursuit . There was this day i told her about my senatorial ambitions in the next 15yrs, then i asked her where she sees herself in the next 15yrs and she said "married to you, training our kids and supporting you". I was moved ; i could have given her a million pounds.
Despite our differences, we still get along well, and i think it's cuz we manage those issues well with patience, respect and understanding.
Now, i'm goin to stop here. The article is about us after all.
NB: *this is a fiction*
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